She had a piece of wheat toast for breakfast, no butter. For lunch, it was three low-fat saltines. She sucked on a peppermint for a mid-day snack before heading to the gym for two hours. Dinner consisted of about a cup of vegetables.

"If I was too hungry I would try and sleep so I wouldn't have to eat or feel bad about eating," said Ali Knudsen, a student at the University of Utah. "I was constantly checking to see if my thighs touched or if my stomach stuck out. If I looked fatter than the day before, or if my pants were tighter, I would go back to the gym."

Knudsen, like approximately 10 percent of all college students, according to the Institute of Mental Health, suffered from an eating disorder.

"I really started noticing I wanted to be skinnier, and comparing my body to others. I didn't feel good enough, pretty enough or skinny enough and that is how I justified my disease," she said.

The BYU Counseling and Career Center said, "Many college women believe thinner is better. Very slim, perfectly toned bodies are often portrayed in our society as the ideal."

Eating disorders are often about control.

"I felt like my weight, what I ate, how much I ate and how much I worked out were all in control, when other things weren't," Knudsen said. "You can't control things like stress, life, tragedy, and relationships."

Katie Cullen, a BYU student and employee at the Center for Change, a local eating disorder clinic, said, "What it all comes down to is that an eating disorder is about controlling something. And people can control how much food they intake."

According to Marlene Williams, clinical professor at the Counseling and Career Center, eating disorders at BYU are rare.

"Studies done at BYU suggest that eating disorders may be less prevalent at BYU than at other universities," she said.

BYU students however, have a different perception of eating disorders.

"I would say BYU has a higher rate of eating disorders," Cullen said. "Working at the center, you learn to recognize signs. I see girls everyday that have signs of an eating disorder."

Nicole Hawkins, clinical director for the Center for Change also expressed similar surprise.

"Older research has shown that Utah has a higher rate of eating disorders, in part due to the culture," Hawkins said.

The Women's Resource Center at BYU states that 80 percent of women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

"At BYU there are a lot of self-image issues, and a lot of people don't think they are good enough, so they take it out on their bodies," Cullen said.

Knudsen attributes the prevalence to the highly competitive nature of BYU.

"Being at BYU and around campus I notice that there are always girls running no matter what the weather is," Knudsen said. "I think it's because marriage and finding the right guy is such a huge goal at BYU that girls try and better themselves physically, especially when they are being compared to thousands of other girls who have the same goal in mind."

Hawkins said "disordered eating," which includes extremes in dieting, working out and food restriction, are much more common than "full-blown eating disorders." Disordered eating affects nearly 80 percent of women ages 18-25.

"A lot of behavior is reinforced by society and friends. It becomes a culture within itself," Hawkins said. "If your friends are dieting and working out a lot, it reinforces that you should be doing it too."

Knudsen said honesty is the most important part of recovery.

"Girls who are struggling with an eating disorder of any type need to be completely honest with themselves and the ones who love and care for them in order to really get the help that is needed," she said.

For more information on eating disorders, contact the Women's Resource Center at 801-422-4877 or the Center for Change at 801-224-8255.

courtsmith21@hotmail.com

Copyright Brigham Young University 21 Jan 2009